Dear Annie: My boyfriend refuses to do anything about his loud snoring

Dear Annie: I have been with my boyfriend for four years, and we have lived together for about 1.5 years. Things are generally well between us with one exception: He has begun snoring. When we were living apart and we’d spend the night together, it was rare that he would snore, and when he did, it wasn’t very loud. Now, though, it is nightly, and at times, it is so loud I can hear him from the other room with fans running.

He is gracious enough to sleep on the sofa many nights or allow me to fall asleep before coming in. Inevitably, though, when he does come to bed, I end up leaving because of the noise. I have offered solutions ranging from making a doctor’s appointment, buying allergy pills, buying special pillows and, of late, buying another bed to put in another room. For sensory reasons, I cannot wear earplugs.

He just laughs all of this off. He doesn’t believe it’s as bad as I say, even with recorded proof. We now trade off the sofa, but my sleep has really gone downhill. What can I do to get him to understand we need a more permanent solution? — Just Want Sleep

Dear Just Want Sleep: The first thing you should do is convince him to make a doctor’s appointment. Snoring to such a degree can be a sign of a medical condition, and it is especially strange that the loud snoring started so abruptly. There are therapies and devices out there to treat snoring, and those will be your best bet for a long-term solution.

In the meantime, consider investing in a white noise machine to lull you to sleep and drown out the noises of your snoozing boyfriend.

Dear Annie: “Sadly Single,” the man who has been having bad luck dating, should realize that the single life can be amazing and that you don’t have to feel lonely. I have been single for quite some time, and the only time I’ve really been lonely was when COVID shut down all my social outlets.

I keep busy with sports, activities and just meeting people at the diner counter. I have just decided I’m an explorer, seeking adventure and embracing all opportunities that come my way. Once, someone asked me, “You are traveling by yourself?” I replied, “What, I’m supposed to put my life on hold because I don’t have a spouse?” Life is to be lived and enjoyed, with or without a special someone.

Maybe he needs to embrace his life and be happy first, before thinking a relationship is a missing piece. He has the “I’ll be happy when …” attitude. Maybe his dates see him as seeking too much and coming off as needy. If he says he is jealous of others’ relationships, he might need to come to terms with his own personal happiness within himself. — Single and Celebrating

Dear Single and Celebrating: What a wonderful letter! You are absolutely correct that the first step is finding happiness and love for oneself. After all, we get what we give. Your positive and adventurous spirit is contagious, and it is no doubt the reason you are able to make friends everywhere you go.

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