This is the latest installment of The Oregonian/OregonLive’s advice column, “Why Tho?” by Lizzy Acker. Lizzy’s advice also appears in our weekly advice newsletter. Want to get it? Subscribe now.
Happy November! Finally, it’s fall in Portland and all anyone wants to do is get cozy, wrap up in a sweater, sip a cup of tea and email an advice columnist with some feedback. I personally love to hear what people think about my column so keep it coming. Agree with me! Disagree with me! Send me questions! Send me answers! I like all of it.
Last week, I wrote about a house guest who flashed a gun at a party that involved both drinking and children.
I heard from a good number of people with thoughts on my thoughts. Here’s a sample of what they said. Some responses have been edited for length and grammar.
What is more concerning to me, and which could affect me unlike the other part is, [the letter writer] acknowledges they had been drinking and apparently were at least somewhat under the influence.
So what steps did she take after serving alcohol to the point that they all were apparently under the influence? What plans did she have in place to assure that her guests did not drive off drunk – potentially leading to dangerous driving including potentially injuring or killing someone?
I would be a little LESS concerned about a concealed carry person keeping their gun with them (if they kept it concealed and secure on their person) than I would be about hosts who serve enough alcohol so that apparently they and guests may be impaired and have no plans to see that they don’t drive off impaired.
I just think that, in the absence of information, people go negative. If the writer liked the person and/or partner enough to invite them over, why is it so difficult to say, “Hey, some other guests told me you were carrying and showing off a gun at my house the other night, is that true?” And proceed from there to set the firm boundary.
Good advice, and as a concealed carry holder and gun owner, I would never:
- Go into someone’s house without telling them I was carrying, and if they said no to that, not go in until the gun was secured in a safe in my vehicle or just not go in. Usually I don’t carry when visiting someone’s home.
- Have an unsecured gun around any children.
- Have an unsecured gun if I am having alcohol (I rarely drink, and never anything else.)
- Get in heated arguments about anything while carrying.
- Never, ever present a weapon without a need to use it. Yes, I have presented my weapon in a very scary situation when I felt there was no alternative. Only once, and afterwards I went over the incident with my firearms instructor, a police lieutenant, and a therapist. In all cases, I was told it was very justified. No weapons were discharged.
- Never brandish a weapon. That’s just escalating and stupid.
I would guess that this person brandishing was not a concealed carry holder in Oregon. The classes required to get that are very strict about brandishing. Of course, there are jerks in every population and my best advice was yours as well.
Stay away from them.
The people have spoken! Keep sending me your thoughts on anything I write and, of course, your most pressing questions.
Have a burning question? Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @lizzzyacker!
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